Sexual connection with a partner is a big one for connection, because a big part of our existence is for procreation, not to mention human pleasure. It is a very important aspect of our love relationships and can either strengthen or weaken the relationship. To give and receive pleasure makes us happy, makes our senses awaken with delight, and is a sacred part of this human existence. The more self aware and elevated we are, the easier it’ll be to tap into our pleasure and our sexual energy, while of course, combining cannabis with sex can help you get more in tuned with yours, and your partners sexual energy. However, the sexual connection between you and your partner has to exist and flow before it can be elevated. I’ve been blessed enough to say that I’ve had some mind blowing out of this world sex. The physical act itself wasn’t anything extraordinary or phenomenal, but the energy between me and those partners took it to a whole other level, and made sex a whole body, mind and soul connection. All these experiences I had were with partners who were smokers, but in analyzing it more as to what other traits or factors about these men that made them such extraordinary lovers, I realized another common denominator….they were all men who LOVED to provide pleasure through cunnilingus, rather than just doing it because it’s the fastest the way to get me ready for intercourse. The act of pleasing their partners pleasured them so much that they can be satisfied with just pleasing their partner that way without the desire for intercourse but gets intercourse as a result of it. When a man gets so much satisfaction in giving pleasure, they’re no longer selfish and in pursuit of that one goal – intercourse. Their goal is to pleasure the woman, and the woman becomes aroused and satisfied at the same time. In reciprocation, the woman is so turned on and so grateful for such an unselfish partner, she then has an innate desire to return the pleasure. Both parties desires are then elevated to a grateful unselfish place of pleasuring each other while receiving equal pleasure in return. That’s when sex is magical for both parties.
Unfortunately, in my personal experience, those unselfish lovers are far and few between, for many men are just looking to stick their dick into a hole that feels decent so that they can release. And many men tend to think (I think mostly based on ego and social and cultural conditioning) that they are good lovers because of the size of their dicks, and place all their sexual abilities on that. Rather, the male genitals is a body part for reproduction, and with thoughtful use, can be the source of great pleasure but like any other tool, it takes skill. Intercourse for women is not usually what’s pleasurable in sex. It is of course a part of it but I don’t think it holds the same importance as it does for men. For most women, intercourse has to be used in connection with other parts of the physical and divine female body for it to be mind blowing pleasurable sex that has us thinking about it and yearning for it all the time.
Some of the men reading this might be thinking, well, this is selfish. Why is it that it’s the men that have to do the pleasing first? I’m not saying that you do have to please first. If the sexual energy between you and your partner is strong, she will definitely want to initiate and please you in every way. But because male and female are very different, most of us women need a little more prodding and exploring, whereas men are ready to go as soon as they’re aroused, and we can all say that most times, it doesn’t take much. That readiness and excitement from the male arousal can sometimes be too hasty, rushing the process and really ruin the mood for some women. There’s a sense of rush to stick it in, thinking that just because they’re ready and excited and the woman is wet, she’s ready for the main course, (not to mention that all other forms of pleasure connection usually stops once intercourse begins.) The rush can also take the speed of the intercourse to humping, I’m talking bunny rabbit speed, no slow stroking, therefore even though I may have been wet when you first enter, the friction from the quick speed and nothing else holding my arousal, I’m now drying up and it’s turned to displeasure and pain. There are times when hard and fast is just as good as slow and grind, but realize the arousal of women plays a part in how pleasurable hard and fast will be for us. I can understand the excitement of men finally reaching your desired goal of intercourse, but why just do it as a way of release? Why not do it so that you’re remembered as the best lover? Why not play and tease and turn each other on so much that you’re about to explode from your desires to be connected as one so badly that you can no longer hold it in? Why not make that connection with that person a memorable one for each other and bring back the sacred connection of sex? And I’m not just speaking on love relationships either, if it’s a casual connection, I think that great pleasurable sex should be top priority as pleasure is the reason for that connection. If there’s no pleasure for both, then there’s really no reason for the connection to continue.
Sex has been held to be such a taboo subject in many cultures and society that it’s not spoken about healthily and openly. Sex, like anything else in life that involves an interaction with others, needs to be communicated and learned about. Most of us came from families that didn’t teach us about sex. We were not taught to learn our bodies, to feel it and touch it and find out what pleasures us. Yes, we had sex ed in school, but most of us giggled through class from embarrassment about the subject, and was too embarrassed to ask the question we needed to learn through open channels. Most of us learned through porn, or through talking with our peers who are just as unknowledgeable. Men would think that if a woman is screaming or making noise, that means she was enjoying the sex. Women, afraid to speak up and disappoint our partner, would continue, not voicing when the sex was not pleasurable or enjoyable or even painful to us. We would bear it and hope that our partner would finish soon so that the discomfort can end. As I learned about myself and my own body as I got older, I started to fully understand what I like and don’t like. I started learning my love language and how I like to be touched for sex to be incredibly pleasurable for me. I started vocalizing more of what I like and don’t like, and hope that the partner I have would be receptive to my communication and would reciprocate, and if not, they won’t have access to that part of me anymore. I mean I can make myself orgasm but I choose to have a partner because of the elevation a connection to someone can bring. If my partner is not bringing any kind of elevation that I can’t get myself, I really don’t them right? I can be wet and turned on but the arousal has to be maintained by other senses, or my arousal and desire can dissipate quickly. When I was younger, and didn’t’ know better, I would allow the act to continue even when it was not enjoyable, scared that if I spoke up, I would “lose” that lover, and mustering up some show of pleasure so that he can finish. I will no longer dishonor myself and my body like that. My pleasure is too important to me to lay there and let a man get his pleasure when I’m not getting any from it. Remember that sex is a 2 way street, and if you don’t know the direction, I’m glad to show you, if you’re willing to ask and receive. For too long, we (men and women) have taken bad or mediocre sex without saying anything because we were afraid that our partner will feel bad or that they will have blue balls. That somehow we’re responsible for them getting their pleasure as we’ve lead them on to this point, so now we’re obligated to finish even though we’re not enjoying, all the while, our partners have no clue that it’s not enjoyable to us! That needs to stop. Communication needs to be a big part of our sex life. If you’re not enjoying, you need to stop and speak up, not only for your own good but also for your partner’s benefit. If you’re not speaking up and communicating to your partner openly and honestly about what you like or don’t like and allowing them to either receive or not, you are doing a disservice to yourself and your partners, by not allowing something incredible that could flourish. As we connect with others, there’s always a learning period, and that learning period is of most importance when we are connecting intimately. Open and honest communications with our partners and the willingness to explore and learn each other’s bodies is a necessity in creating the incredible sexual experiences we all desire. So, talk to each other, learn and play with each other’s bodies, make pleasuring your partner a goal, add some sativa strains into the mix and create some fun orgasmic experiences by elevating the connection you already have.
