Why Does Dating Feel So Disconnected These Days?

As someone who’s passionate about the importance of connection, I can’t help but feel like something is missing in the dating world. For many of us—especially those of us in the U.S. and in the 38+ age range—dating feels…dismal.

I’ve been single for almost seven years now (mostly by choice, with one short relationship in there), and I’ve had a lot of conversations with other singles—men and women—about their experiences. What’s interesting is that the frustrations we all share are very similar.

The Common Complaints

From Women:

• “He doesn’t put in any effort—no planning, no initiative.”
• “Surface conversations ie wyd?”
• “There’s a lack of confidence and leadership. Where’s the divine masculine energy?”
• “He’s passive-aggressive or avoids saying what he means.”
• “He says he’s interested, but his actions don’t match his words.”
• “Ghosting. Again.”
• “Lack of self awareness”

From Men:

• “She’s got too much masculine energy—it’s hard to feel balanced.”
• “It feels like it’s more about what I can do for her than who I am.”
• “There’s a lack of authenticity. She doesn’t seem real.”
• “Conversations don’t go deep.”
• “She ghosted me. Yep, me too.”
• “Lack of self awareness”

And these complaints? They’re not even about dating apps—that’s a whole separate discussion for another post.

What’s Causing This Disconnection?

Do these experiences sound familiar to you? They leave me wondering if there’s something deeper going on and maybe you do too?

• Have we become so clear on what we want and don’t want that we’re no longer giving people a chance?
• Are we all carrying so much baggage from past relationships that it’s easier to avoid connection altogether?
• Is the dating pool really that challenging, or are we just tired of the effort it takes to find someone real?
• Have casual hookups and the ease of “swiping” made us forget how to pursue genuine, meaningful relationships?
• Are we at the precipice where an AI partner might feel better than navigating the complexities of human connection?

Why Connection Matters

Here’s the thing: connection is essential. It’s what makes life meaningful. While being single can teach you independence and self-love, there are certain lessons and growth that only come from relationships.

• They help you grow. Relationships bring out emotions and challenges you might not face on your own. They surface buried feelings and help you heal.
• They reflect who you are. Connections act as mirrors, showing you your strengths, your flaws, and areas where you still need to grow.
• They give life depth. Relationships help us understand what matters—love, compassion, forgiveness, and collaboration.

We’re not meant to do life alone. Relationships enrich our lives, even when they’re messy and imperfect. That’s why this growing disconnection in dating is so concerning—it’s not just about being single; it’s about missing out on the beauty and growth that only connection can bring.

What Can We Do?

I believe the solution lies in creating spaces where people can connect authentically, hence I curate the events I do. No games, no pretense—just opportunities to be real and meet others who are doing the same, and not necessarily for dating purposes only.

What about you? What have been your experiences been with dating? Do you see these same patterns, or is your story different? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your stories, frustrations, or even your hopes for what dating could be in the comments.

Maybe if we all put our heads together, we can figure out how to make dating less frustrating and more meaningful again. Because at the end of the day, connection matters—and we all deserve a little more of it in our lives.